The Anti-Cancer Lifestyle

In all honesty, it was a bit of a sick joke:  The woman who practically lived the quintessential Anti-Cancer Diet gets cancer.  

How do I preach about whole, unprocessed foods, exercise and clean living in general when it has clearly done me NO good since I got breast cancer anyway?

As I have mentioned, my motto was/is “strong in your body = strong in your mind.”  I have grappled with how to maintain that mental strength when my body is no longer the source of strength it used to be.  But what if it still is, just in a different way? 

My usual definition of feeling strong is directly connected to my wonderful pilates regimen at Oxygen and personal strength training at IPF.  To the definable muscles in my abs and arms and the thrill of mastering new moves and heavier weights.   But as the days go on, and the side-effects remain manageable, maybe I need to recognize that despite my lack of physical exertion, my body is still working just as hard.  Just a bit more behind the scenes.  

Perhaps the clean living and conscious eating has actually been fortifying me all along to be able to deal with the cancer- to recover successfully from surgery, to lessen the side-effects of chemo and to help me rebound after every infusion.

I haven’t given it - my body -  much credit lately.  On the days when I feel so normal, the thoughts of “I should be working out” start to creep in and the growing panic of “not doing enough” starts to invade my brain space, leading me to come down on myself in that old, unwelcome way.  I have to continue to give myself all the necessary grace of no pressure and no expectations, just daily check ins.  But when I look in the mirror and see myself as I was/am and feel almost like I did before this diagnosis, the need to stay in manic motion starts poking at me, reminding me of what I was capable of before.

But the reality is that it is not Before.  And when I push too much, I get really tired.  And if I push too much, I don’t hear what my body is telling me.  And it’s hard enough to translate what it says, because this cancer body is still one that I don’t recognize.  It’s speaking in a foreign language I can’t quite understand - is the fatigue because of the chemo or a bad night’s sleep?  Is the nausea because I ate too much, or ate too little, or just because it’s a side effect I have to deal with today?  Does my head hurt because I haven’t had enough water or because it’s just going to be a day that I’ll need extra Tylenol?   The signs are less clear, but all the more reason to take the extra moments to slow down and listen.  

While I don’t understand exactly how all of this cancer stuff works, it has become clear that the importance of self-care and nourishing my body are vital parts of my strength and recovery.  There is no magic “prevention button” for anything that comes our way, but preparing our body and our mind to be as strong as possible to face challenges is the key to any successful recovery in life.  

So, let’s call it a Pro-Living Lifestyle instead of Anti-Cancer.  Do me a favor and check in with yourself to see how you’re doing.  Show yourself the self-love of nourishing your body and your mind.  Fortify yourself for whatever challenges come your way, and you will emerge that much stronger for it.